Well I'll tell you the story about two drunks in charge of a locomotive. This was at a place call Thevenard on the Great Australian Bite and that's about as far as a railway is likely to go without being lost in a sand storm. I spent some time there. The engine driver and his assistant were drunk before they came to work and not to be caught out they took refreshment with them. Everything went according to protocol for the first 50 mile down the track and they kept up good speed with 50 trucks full of wheat. Of course as the hours rolled by the assistant whose sole responsibility was to shovel coal (this was a steam engine) fell behind with the task and the engine slowed. It's not unusual to get behind schedule but when you're up to the eyeballs and in no mood to shovel coal .. slow can spell disaster. Eventually both engine driver and assistant had so much trouble keeping their feet that shoveling coal was out of the question. The engine stopped. Now this was way out in the woop-woop a hundred miles from civilization and both engine driver and assistant fell out of the cabin dazed and began to walk around the engine to see what the trouble was. The guard who hasn't been mentioned got out of the rear van and waddled down to see the show. The guard who drank alone joined the pair and all three walked around the lifeless engine muttering advice and generally surveying the mystery.

Headquarters wasn't amused and they continually rang stations along the line to see if they could track down where the engine had vanished.

Three hours later when the disgraced three finally fired up the engine again and set of to recapture lost time one of the station masters frantically called in to report an unknown train heading towards Thevenard. Yes, these silly buggers in their drunken stupor had forgotten whether they were pulling or pushing wagons and they were now heading back to where they started.

Needless to say all three were sacked and it's fair to say that here ended an era where train driver, assistant and guard went onto the job before reporting for duty. The line closed down a few years later.