I was reading the paper today and they had a story about Britain's current favourite comedian, Peter Kay. I think he's brilliant, a real inspiration. Anyway, they printed some of his observations:
At the end of a party, there is always a girl crying.
Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into their school.
The smaller the monkey, the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half-way through and then raced against the flush.
There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.
The most embarrassing thing you can do as a schoolchild is to call your teacher Mum or Dad.
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